The last few years have been financially stressful, but we always seemed able to pay the bills. Nothing was left over, but we got by. Last month, that changed. My husband was unexpectedly out of work for a month; he went out on short-term disability. Short-term disability was supposed to continue to pay at least part of his salary. When pay day came, there was no paycheck. Nothing. But there were a lot of bills. I spent hours trying to figure out if we could be ok for the month if he didn’t get paid. I realized we were about $1500 short. Week after week, for the rest of the month, there was no paycheck from short-term disability. He returned to work and found out somebody had not checked off one small box on the paperwork, so his disability was never approved. I had to ask my mom for money for us to get by. A grown adult is asking her mom for a loan. I feel like the biggest failure. Luckily, I had a mom who could loan us the money, but I NEVER want to be in this situation again.
Now we are starting a new month; I have bills that are due. This is my husband’s first full week back to work, so this week’s paycheck will only be for 2 days. I have a small part-time job, but that is basically enough to cover food and gas money, not enough to start paying off any of our bills.
I’m feeling low and discouraged. I used to work full-time before our 6-year-old son was born. After he was born, I chose to stay home with him out of medical necessity. That was the most challenging but most loving decision I have ever made. I also have a soon to be 4-year-old. My ability to work is minimal. My children need my constant supervision, and we don’t have a family that can support us by helping watch our kids. I don’t have any help or a village. My job is in the early morning hours when everyone is still sleeping; it leaves me exhausted before anyone wakes up. For years, I have been surviving on only 4-6 hours of sleep. I am sure being sleep-deprived has led to too many impulse purchases and pricey prepared meals or take-out meals.
Today, I became sick and tired of feeling exhausted, broke, and discouraged.
Today, I decided to make significant changes and rise toward a calm life.
How does one even start when you are feeling so overwhelmed?
The first thing to do is to write down a list of things that need to get sorted immediately. I’m going to divide my list into 2 categories – 1. Emergency Budget and 2. Things We Can Control.
- How much do we owe? It’s essential to understand every dollar you owe to someone to determine how much money you have. If you owe someone, then the money you earn isn’t yours.
- List out all debts
- Minimum payments due
- Interest amounts
- Total amount due
- List all income that we know is coming in this month. This includes income from jobs, bank account interest, selling things, birthday/holiday gifts, etc.
- List all bills. These are your monthly bills: electricity, water, internet, subscriptions, streaming services/cable, mortgage/rent, etc. I add my Mortgage here—yes, it is a debt, but I have to pay it every month or I lose my house.
- List all extra expenses, including food, gas, household supplies, kid necessities, or anything additional.
- Really look over your list to see what you can cut this month only to lower your bills and help you get by. Do you need Netflix this month? Do you need to buy your kids a new toy this month – or can it wait?
Things I Can Control:
- Make a food inventory list. I have food that I have purchased on sale to add as a buffer for when I can not get to the store. I don’t have enough to go through an entire week eating just my reserves, and I do need to purchase milk, bread, and fruit. However, I can make bread for sandwiches and pizza dough at home. Making my own will save money and keep my family from feeling deprived of foods they like.
- Write out what’s in the pantry, freezer, and fridge
- What meals can I make with food I already have
- How many meals can I make with food I already have
- Has any food expired?
- Can I make any foods on my grocery list for less than buying them?
- What bills can I lower? Can I use less water or electricity? Can I cut down on driving?
- How can I entertain my kids for free? Can you walk to a park, library or anyplace free around you? Are there any parks, libraries, or places to go for free a short drive away or close to any errands you need to run?
This list is for an emergency budget. It is to quickly help you see what you can stop buying, stop paying for, or in a worst case scenario – what bills you can skip this month to make ends meet. It lets you see every amount you owe and expect to earn in one place and gives you the ability to figure out how to deal with it.
This list is also an excellent starting point to finally get ahead. All of the hard work of gathering information, sorting by importance, and changing your thinking to save and spend less has been started. And this is something to truly celebrate even during a tough financial month.
Congratulations! We have started to make big changes for ourselves and our family and are starting to rise to a calm life.
What does your list look like? Do you have other things on it that I forgot to include? Does your stomach feel like it’s in a knot, or do you feel calm already and ready to kick every single debtor out of your house and keep your hard-earned money for yourself? I love hearing how others are doing and would love to read your comment below!
Rise to Calm 